The ultimate challenge for man is to fully improve himself regardless of his conditions to become the best he is capable of becoming. I believe there is only one judge and that’s ourselves, and only we know if we have made our best effort. I have great peace of mind in knowing I have given my best effort, which eliminates any need for self-judgement, self-abuse, regret. It also allows me clearer self-analysis and self-examination to correct my mistakes. The hallmark of a true champion is consistency.
Being my best, when my best is needed – Dave Barrie
Through no ‘direct’ fault of my own I have OWNED my previous personal life obstacles; personal responsibility seems to be lacking in our culture as it has become all to easy for individuals to shift the blame for their life outcomes.
- My peer football group turned on me because I believed in the social injustice of other school members in college. What do you think happens to a 16yr-old boy when you calmly challenge and stand against the actions of the peer group? I never complained and never explained. I was the youngest and team captain and would be physically surrounded, harassed and spat on daily for 18 months of my college school life. But I trained and conditioned myself to respond with Mahatma Ghandi non-violent transformational leadership. This is one reason why I can still be mates with them today because I accepted them as people of worth. Again, Humility is self-confidence without arrogance.
- As noted in my personal story on my website, some unknown individuals in society thought it was their opportunity to take me out. And they did!! Physically, then deliberately put a pill in my mouth which drugged me, and sexual assault. They also robbed me of all my possessions; wallet, phone, camera and leaving me for an ambulance. My recovery from suicidal tendencies and severe PTSD took me a total of 3 months. I recognized that I was abusing Xanax, anti-depressants and sleeping pills more and more to no effect and it was the short-term fix and not a SOLUTION. I walked outside one day to my recycle bin and stated this is who I am, what I’m going to do, this is still my mission and I’m not going to be denied!!! I dumped them all in the bin. And still because of my personal rules & values I would again take these individuals in under a caring nature. I understand this would again seem absurd for many people, but this is the level of harmony I have trained and conditioned myself to play my life FULL OUT! Because it only takes one individual to demonstrate to everybody else what is possible. Who do you need to forgive? Who do you need to give total love and total acceptance? Can you imagine what the modern world would be like if everyone did this? A lot of individuals lack true love & warmth without realizing self-love, self-worth and self-esteem are all earned privately. And we can’t give away what we don’t have. Again, self-esteem is the hallmark of a healthy personality. If your self-esteem is genuine you can get along with anyone on the planet; culture, disability, stereotypes.
*At age 29 I was approaching my 10 years of weekend ‘Service & Contribution’ to special needs kids. I knew it was GO time to build my future business endeavors, leverage my younger brothers into a home with me and set my family up for the future. I also had believed for years that I had to become an Australian champion in my sport before revealing my personal story to the people around me and publicly. I had lived with some massive secrets and fully believed with tremendous emotional intensity that I had to complete all the tasks, before I could reveal my personal story publicly and allow myself to have a personal relationship with a girl called ####. I was overwhelmed and didn’t know how to communicate this to her at the time as I was 4 weeks out from representing Australia at a world title in which I came 14th. I really needed her support at this stage of my life and she also needed more attention, it was a problem of communication and our relationship problem could be solved and saved if we both communicated openly and accurately. I sacrificed myself and our personal relationship in the short-term because I could sense she was becoming emotionally upset with me and my endeavors. I struggled to give her the communication, time and attention she was craving from me. I love her and it’s my fault. She’s very SPECIAL to me and I didn’t enjoy her feeling this way as it crushed me to see her cry. I believed it was best for me to focus long-term and back myself to bring everything full circle into the future. Was it wrong of me? My grand plan failed!! I really wanted her support, but I didn’t know how to ask her for help at the time as I had always relied on previous thinking and skills. For example; grit, tenacity and magnanimity to bring all into fruition. The truth is I just wasn’t good enough at this point in my life to hold it all together so I did the unimaginable and told her I accept complete responsibility for our relationship and that I had to follow through with what I started. A dream at 15 became a 17 year-old boy life mission. I allowed her life to flow and promised her I would win for her. I collected and leveraged all the emotional pain and frustration onto myself to fulfill my family (brothers) living together, reveal my personal story, whilst transitioning from my 10 years of weekend ‘service and contribution’ with special needs children to create and pioneer the first school initiative of its kind in the world. I had kept massive secrets from her. I also lacked a specific communicational skill, and now she feels very hurt by me and has penalised me. Why? because of her emotional conditioning it will give her a sense of control and certainty as an excuse for failing to support me. This has caused me extreme heartache too as I was courageous to follow the dream I dream more about coming home to her than leaving. The major skill I lacked was? why people are important, where they fit into the plan, what we’re trying to do and the results we seek. I now understand she was subtly seeking her emotional needs of certainty and commitment from me. As foolish as it sounds I also learnt from my own stupidity that other people do have different emotional needs and desires. I didn’t understand this at the time because of my extraordinary ability to lead with uncertainty. Unfortunately, she feels hurt and to meet her emotional need of certainty its more comfortable to believe and far easier to blame that one reactive hurt evaluation has measured me forever but this doesn’t determine my improved listening, character or HEART. Because champions always raise their level of play when it matters the most!! Perhaps my greatest fear was that I wanted her to believe in me and be proud of me and I believe that in time she will understand and SEE all the qualities in me that no one else has. To give her the best quality of life and future possible. A total loving and passionate relationship were she feels safe, seen and we have never-ending growth, contributions and adventures together. How many people if they’re being honest actually have that in their relationship? I owe her this unconditional promise. Am I someone who feels hurt from a relationship in the past and has settled for the crumbs of connection? I don’t want that for her. Do you want to never grow? Growth, passion, polarity and never-ending love develops in the realm of uncertainty. I now have to embrace the uncertainty and hope she will also learn what she needs to so we can meet our unique destiny together. I made my decision on what I fully believed I had to do to reveal my personal story (complete all my set tasks as it was part of my healing process for total emotional FREEDOM). Because I knew that being a young male with an athlete stereotype in his 20s I was again BREAKING NEW GROUND for our society. I gave myself no choice, and I backed myself with absolute and active faith.
Has Dave taken care of his family? Has he done the ‘right’ thing consistently? Did he demonstrate integrity and resolve in the face of extreme circumstances? Did Dave still give love, kindness and acceptance to those who deliberately went out of their way time and time again to hurt him?
Determination is accessed by the human endowment of willpower and is built from the foundation of COURAGE. I had no support. I didn’t have the relationships, resources, time and finances. I didn’t have all the skills. But I found them, developed more skills and found a way.
At 15 I made one of the most important decisions of my life to commit to ‘doing the work’ on my personal skills; intrapersonal intelligence (Emotional Intelligence & Leadership) I began envisioning at school assembly’s what it would be like to return to my local high school with some of the nations top talent. Perhaps the thing that I was really missing was a real life role-model who was set to dominate their chosen profession. I decided that I had the emotional endurance to go the distance and was an individual who could and would do this to make life better for children growing up, much of this has now been at my own expense to respond selflessly in supporting those in need. It’s now a gift that I want to give to my communities youth. By the end of my college experiences at 17 I knew most of the things I needed to do with my life, and I have been moving myself ever so slightly into position and I will put my foot on the throat of society. The difference is moral conduct. The school system initiative will be about teaching the fundamentals of personal-development to school children were top young industry leaders will deliver the knowledge, skills and inspiration. Whilst becoming long-term role models for our future generation.
At age 30 I have adjusted my approach from ‘I have to do this’ to ‘I get to do this’
- Have I prepared myself to give my best when my best is needed?
- Am I mentally undisciplined? And am I emotionally reactive within my environments?
- Who has impressed me with his/her INCREDIBLE emotional self-control? And why?
Built to serve,
Why Dave ⬇⬇⬇
It’s one of my childhood dreams, and I trust in my love for her. Love doesn’t keep a man from pursuing his personal mission. If a man abandons his mission on earth it’s because it wasn’t done with true love and warmth. It’s the ultimate test of faith.
For Jess, for my family, for my community, for humanity.