My mental: emotional ability allows me to move fast when I need to. Whilst it’s one of my greatest strengths it can also mean I move slow with people. In communication with people, slow is fast and fast is slow. Learning to communicate effectively is a never-ending process, and communication is a very important skill in life. To deeply listen and understand another individual from their frame of reference we have practiced empathetic listening skills, demonstrated respect and given them psychological air.

At times I can be naturally impatient with people, because with my emotional intelligence I can already see & process the solution. Solving problems is one of the things that really lights me up in life. But when I’m already at step 3 and they’re at step 1 this doesn’t work logically until people feel understood emotionally.

So how do we do it?

There are four stages of communication, the first is to mimic the content. The second stage is listening and when we rephrase the content. The third stage we allow the use of our right brain. The right side of the brain is the emotional side and when you reflect the feeling in communication. The left side of the brain is more logical and impulse control. The fourth stage is where we rephrase the content and reflect the feeling. This is the highest form of communication and if we have personality conflicts that become emotional we need to shift back to empathetic listening with our communication to make the conversation more logical. Being a strategist who loves to solve problems, I always consider people’s genuine welfare and give the most logical and open-minded responses with the correct strategy and it still doesn’t work every time with people. If people have the correct strategy it should work every time, right? Only when people are in the ‘Right’ emotional state. All the logic in the world struggles to work with people until they feel understood and trust you. Then they still have to ‘do the work’ ahead of them. Empathetic listening takes time initially but could save you months or years of frustration and emotional pain.

How do we allow people to feel understood? I will affirm my motive that I have a sincere desire to understand. I care about you and your welfare. I want to understand you. I state that I value our differences, and can we work together?

People want to be understood. Whose point of view do I need to understand? Will I listen to their concerns? If your self-esteem is genuine you can get along with anyone on the planet; culture, disability, stereotypes. How do I know this? Well I’m a curious dude

 

Below is a two-step process for relationship responsibility

The first step is to understand another individual from their frame of reference. What are their strengths? What are their values? And how do they work best with others?

The second step is to always take full responsibility for communication. Because most social: emotional drama occurs when individuals don’t know what the other person is trying to do? How they work best? What’s important to them? And the results they’re expecting? Why don’t people understand? Because they haven’t Asked. Making assumptions sets people up for misunderstandings, sadness and drama. Am I really an open-minded person or do I habitually react emotionally? When we communicate openly and as clearly as we possibly can by asking questions and clearly defining what we want we can completely transform our own lives and those around us.

 

Ask yourself;

1. How will I work on listening to others?
2. Is it more important to be trusted or to be liked?
3. Where is a relationship that I have suppressed emotions and need to communicate more openly and honestly?

 

For living in harmony and living together peacefully.

 

Dave